Finding My Fit: Powerlifting and Eating Disorders

Hi there all! I recently put out there that I was looking for topics for my blog and I got some great questions/topics...IDK if I could write an entire blog post about them so I'm going to lump them all up into one Q and A post. If it goes well this might be something that I do from now on. 1. What is in my gym bag? Well I think to start off with...I don't really use a whole lot of special things. Mostly my gym bag ends up with things everyone needs: deodorant, clothes for the day, toothbrush and toothpaste, makeup, etc. I don't really use anything special- I do have boxing gloves from Ever-last in my bag right now. I also use a belt when doing any really heavy lifting- it is a Scheik- you can find it here:  https://www.roguefitness.com/schiek-2004-lifting-belt-pink 2. Do you write your own programming? Yep! So right now I am working on split days. Upper body is one day, then lower body...and I rotate out what heavy movements I am doing. A sample upper body day wou

"You don't want to get too bulky, you'll look like a man!" I hear this all the time. If it isn't someone saying to me directly it is said by someone else about themselves. When I tell people that I am into power lifting, weight lifting, and getting strong in general people all give me a bit of side eye. They are totally ok with me losing weight and getting more and more close to the "ideal" body- which is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever said in my life- they are fine with me getting smaller and smaller, but the second I start talking about gaining muscles they freak. We are as women, conditioned to take up less space, be smaller, be "pretty" and "petite"...but why? The answer is rooted in the oppression of women as a whole. I love the look of Sara Sigmundsdottir- #goals When women are constantly told to look and act a certain way- whether that message comes from films or tv or magazines and ad campaigns- it al

Check out more update to the min. posts from me on Instagram @powerhousebarbie

"So how are you handling everything?" Dude the answer is not as well as I would like . I am not one of those women who blames everything on hormones- in fact I like most women- find that excuse outdated and quite sexist. I'm not a slave to the chemicals in my body but they do play an important part of your over all health. I have been on birth control since I was somewhere are 16 or 17 years old- not just to prevent pregnancy but also to help me with horrible, crippling migraines. I'm talking like four days of hell- pain, nausea, light and sound sensitivity and more. One of the best things to come out of my weight loss has been an improvement in the length and the intensity of my head aches. This year I have only had about 2 or 3 really bad ones when I used to be able to count on at least 12 per year. So that has been a significant change for the better- something that has gotten worse- or rather something I have started to notice a problem with have been mood

"You are such an inspiration! " Sometimes I really feel like Supergirl- then I come back to reality. Lately, I have had a lot of conversations with people about my journey, about this blog, about all kinds of things- people keep telling me how inspiring I am. That is amazing, and most of the time I light up from the inside out because helping people feel better and do better and be better is part of my mission.  But then there are moments, some times whole days, where I don't feel very inspiring. I get a real case of impostor syndrome, which if you don't know is... a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".  A little info-graphic never hurt no one... So yeah,  I get that feeling alot. Don't get me wrong if you find my story inspiring that is GREAT! Please tell me all about it. But also know that sometimes if I maybe don't look as con

Just wanted to post a short collection of shots for Transformation Tuesday! If you want to follow more of my day to day life you can follow me on Instagram @powerhousebarbie! This is a shot from the previous Ren Faire season to this year! Like it says on the tin! Great out doors shots for comparison! Some nice progress pictures for not only weight but muscle definition!

So during my last #ThoughtProvokingThursday I got a request to talk about my meal prep routine. Meal prepping has been one of the best things I have ever done to help me meet my weight loss goals. I know it can seem intimidating but honestly meal prepping is so flexible that you can make it as complicated or as simple as it needs to be. I usually take Sundays to meal prep for the week but since my weekends are currently occupied with performing at the Carolina Renaissance Festival, so this was all done on Friday afternoon. My prep usually ebbs and flows with my tastes and what I seem to be wanting. Sometimes it is the same thing week and after week and sometimes I like to switch it up. The point is- you are in control of your prep so make things you like and will eat. Seriously people, get a good food scale. I got mine on Amazon! Tip #1 I usually give to people who want to start prepping is- go to the store and buy yourself some nice containers, preferably with dividers. It

"So what are your current goals?" A quick selfie before hiking Stone Mt. in GA Everyone who is into fitness asks this question. It is a great question to be sure, I mean if you don't know what your goals are how can you possibly stay motivated and stick to your plan? A lot of people ask me what my goals were/are. I thought I would give a short outline of what I have worked on, achieved, and have planned for the future. Starting out, my biggest goal was to feel better about myself and my self image. That was a physical goal as well as a mental and emotional one. I also wanted to be stronger and just be able to do the things in life I wanted to do (like hiking or biking trails, etc) without feeling drained or out of breath. Starting out I did not set a goal weight for myself- my therapist and I decided that focusing on the scale was not a healthy choice for me. I tend to get obsessed with numbers and with weighing myself- so in the beginning I only weighed in once

"So, like...how much are you eating?" I get asked this so many times, and sometimes it is hard to put into words what you put in your mouth...so follow me today (which is Monday Oct. 8th 2018) as I show you exactly what I am eating and when! First off: Breakfast! My alarm goes off at 5:00 am and I usually roll out of bed right on the dot (not easy). I shuffle to the kitchen and grab my small breakfast. 5:05 am- one hard boiled egg, two turkey sausage patties (microwaved), and a grape flavored Celsius drink for energy.  Cal. total: 178 I am usually up and out of the house and on my way to the gym by 5:18am, no difference today! I usually get to the gym and get started by 5:50am. I usually do some warm up and activation stuff then my lifting and then finish with cardio. I try to get done by 7am!  Skipping ahead to work- I usually eat a post workout snack- recovery is so important! So I have started drinking a post workout recovery drink of Emerge

"People are going to comment on your body." Why hello there ladies.... Sigh, well, I guess this blog post is going to be THAT blog post. Yes people are going to comment on any changes you happen to make to your body. New hair color? New hair cut? Piercings? Tattoos? Yep, you are going to hear about it, but no one thing gets commented on more than weight changes. Of course, lately most of the comments I have gotten have been positive in nature! It really is nice to hear that people are proud of the hard work you have put in- and that they can see the positive changes you are making in your life. There is also after the initial "wow you look great" the inevitable back pedal of "not that you didn't look good before!"...it is ok. Your compliment of me now does not invalidate the quality of my past self. It isn't like I didn't get compliments before I lost weight--- This season's gown is PINK! but also, yes, the girls are smaller.

"You must be so proud of how much you have changed!" So many people have asked me about the changes to my body. Some are vague questions and some of them are super specific, but most people usually end with comments about how much my size has changed. Granted they are right! In December of 2017 I was wearing a size XL shirt, size 16 to 18 pants, my bra was a 38C/D and I was getting to the point where even my shoe size went up! Now I am wearing a 6 or 8 in pants and my shirts are all smalls. I had to buy new bras too, which are 36 Bs. I have been able to wear some shoes that I had kept for a long time that had become too tight! So yes there have been alot of changes to my body- and logically I know that they have happened but the changes are hard to feel. Body Dysmorphia is a common problem for people who have OSFED and those who don't. Dysmorphia is, in the basic sense, when you don't see your body accurately. Imagine going to a fun house and walking through

"So what do your 'good days' look like?" The Good Days: Man, the good days are really good. You might be surprised at how many good days actually happen, or are made to happen (let's assume some control here!). The good days are days where everything goes according to plan. In fact, the BEST days are where things go according to plan and I didn't even have to think about it. Example: I get up on time, I hit the gym and get shit done, I go to work, I go home and all my eating was planned out and satisfying and nothing un-expected happened. Those are the days that really make me feel great. I like the feeling of being in control and feeling like I don't have to constantly think about food. The Bad Days: I wish I could say I never had bad days, but I do. The bad days are well....bad. Bad for a lot of reasons too. Maybe I'm stressed and I eat more than I intended, maybe I didn't work as hard in the gym as usual because I'm tired o

"How much cardio are you doing?" THAT is the number one question I get asked when people hear how much weight I lost. NUMBER ONE. When people ask me about my gym routine they expect me to give them a break down of my cardio routine- and of course cardiovascular training is very important to over all health- but I don't think that it has been the key to my real success (that and of course the REAL key is what happens in the kitchen). If I could recommend one thing to the women in my life- to women in the gym- to women in general it would be resistance training ie. weight lifting. Now not everyone has to follow the path I am on- power lifting, but there are so many studies that show the real benefits of weight training for women. Those include things like: Higher Bone Density More Toned and Sculpted Body Increased Physical Strength Increased feelings of Happiness and Capability So why Power Lifting?  Well to be honest I have always loved weight liftin