People are going to comment...

"People are going to comment on your body."

Why hello there ladies....

Sigh, well, I guess this blog post is going to be THAT blog post. Yes people are going to comment on any changes you happen to make to your body. New hair color? New hair cut? Piercings? Tattoos? Yep, you are going to hear about it, but no one thing gets commented on more than weight changes. Of course, lately most of the comments I have gotten have been positive in nature! It really is nice to hear that people are proud of the hard work you have put in- and that they can see the positive changes you are making in your life. There is also after the initial "wow you look great" the inevitable back pedal of "not that you didn't look good before!"...it is ok. Your compliment of me now does not invalidate the quality of my past self. It isn't like I didn't get compliments before I lost weight---

This season's gown is PINK! but also, yes, the girls are smaller.

But with the sweet things, come the sour parts too. Sometimes as much as I love compliments I wish my body could just be my body. A thing that goes un-noticed. For so many people who struggle with their weight-even at their lightest- they just want to be invisible. For many over weight people there is a real struggle with being both too visible and thus vulnerable to ridicule and being invisible and thus forgotten and diminished. Sometimes people just want to be people and not seen as a "body" for once.

Renaissance Festivals have had a long love affair with breasts, just FYI.

Also, there have been a few comments which have been less than pleasant. Now no one has been outright mean or said anything that was meant to hurt my feelings (just wanted to be clear). Their comments have been, however, thought provoking to say the least. One comment was about my breasts- yep...it is true. They are smaller and not as full as they used to be. That is the way weight loss works. Now I understand that this comment was made in jest and of course at the time I certainly didn't take it the wrong way...if you aren't able to laugh then what can you do? But the more and more it rattles around in my brain the more and more it has felt kinda prickly. Yes, I look different- yes the world seems to care about these secondary sex characteristics that sit on my body-yes in many ways women are boiled down to their individual parts- but I am more than that. Now of course, the person who said these comments wasn't trying to make me uncomfortable and no I am not angry at them at all---but what you say to people really does impact them. That is the only point here I want to make.

Last years voluptuousness.....

I have also had some comments or questions which in the moment did not strike me in any particular way but now seem to feel odd at best. I have gotten a lot of "Are you...sick?" or "Are you having a problem?"  The answer of course is no, I'm not sick. I know that the comment comes from a place of concern but some times I feel like that question gets translated in my brain as "wow, the only way you would ever look this skinny is because you are deathly ill or something". That is just part of how my disorder acts.

So...in answer...yes THEY are smaller- I am physically smaller- but I am so much MORE than just this body.

Trying to live the "be more, not less" philosophy!

I say all of this not to discourage people from asking questions or talking to me about my journey....I just want to encourage people to start being conscious of the words that they are using to express their thoughts about someone else's body. I want people to be able to have open and honest discussions about their bodies, to be able to accurately describe their feelings about themselves, and to be able to share their stories with as many people as possible. It is clear to me that this blog has become part of my journey that I need to share and I am making an effort to  be more accessible to all of you. Hang in there my friends!

If you ever have questions or comments please feel free to add a comment here or to send me a private message!