Two Years Down- a lifetime to go!

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The Goal Setting Trap!

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"So what are your current goals?" A quick selfie before hiking Stone Mt. in GA Everyone who is into fitness asks this question. It is a great question to be sure, I mean if you don't know what your goals are how can you possibly stay motivated and stick to your plan? A lot of people ask me what my goals were/are. I thought I would give a short outline of what I have worked on, achieved, and have planned for the future. Starting out, my biggest goal was to feel better about myself and my self image. That was a physical goal as well as a mental and emotional one. I also wanted to be stronger and just be able to do the things in life I wanted to do (like hiking or biking trails, etc) without feeling drained or out of breath. Starting out I did not set a goal weight for myself- my therapist and I decided that focusing on the scale was not a healthy choice for me. I tend to get obsessed with numbers and with weighing myself- so in the beginning I only weighed in once...
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Long Time, No See...

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Hi there everyone. I can't believe how long it has been since I wrote anything here, months have gone by and my life has been changing and evolving. Some things have gotten better and some things have definitely gotten worse...the things that have gotten better are great but the things that have gotten worse- or out of control really got away from me. One thing in particular was this blog. I remember loving to write here and using it as an outlet for my emotional needs and for me to push some of the anxiety in my life out. This place was a part of my healing and my journey and I just lost it. I left it behind and wow it made a difference. I guess I should start where I left off. The last post here was about my birthday and while it was a good birthday everything was already piling up on top of me- stress from work was growing immense and my social life and other obligations pushed my workouts to the back burner. I have managed to maintain my weight within a healthy range ( ...
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Why Do I Do This To Myself?

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Sometimes the only thing people here or see are the good and strong moments. It is really hard to show people the weak moments. I just wrote this like half  an hour ago...sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are actually sick and that even though you are technically in recovery that it doesn't mean you have been "healed". For anyone who is wondering, this is what a not so great meal time looks like to me: "Why do I do this to myself? I do this same thing over and over and i never seem to learn....i feel like Prometheus- a man who did a great deed and then was punished over and over every single day his action. I convince myself that I deserve a treat, that I have been good, that I am hungry, that it will all be OK....and then I eat, and eat, and eat without thinking or hesitation and then....in the moments after, when all is said and done, i hate myself for having forced so much food in my body. I hate myself in those moments after when it feels like eve...
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