December Catch Up, New Years Resolutions, and more!

Hi there all!

This is my December check in- just wanted to keep everyone in the loop about my plan for this month and maybe setting some goals and stuff for the New Year. So, right now I am in "maintenance" mode eating wise- which means I am eating as many calories in a day as I burn- which is a serious departure from what I am used to doing. I feel like I am eating all the time and I am struggling to eat
"normally" when my normal for so long has been "eat less than you burn in a day". Honestly, it is kinda of nice to have a break for the constant worry about having a little extra here and there- making sure I come in with a deficit every day. In fact, I think most days I come in under my burn rate without really trying, sometimes out of habit sometimes because I am full already...I'm wondering if I might lose a little weight during my maintenance phase because I am not stressing about food and it just is happening naturally. I am still in the gym 5-7 days per week, working the same programming I have been this whole year. Honestly if I was really lucky I would end up in some sort of recomp mode ( meaning re-composition: a very rare moment when you are taking in calories equal to your burn rate and magically change the composition of your body, losing fat and gaining small amounts of muscle) Some people don't even believe that recomp exists. I would rather be optimistic about it. lol  Here is a rather decent article about recomp and the different camps that exist ( I also realize he is selling something- I'm not endorsing him) : http://physiqonomics.com/body-recomposition/

My plan for Jan. is to start a 1 month bulk phase- which is short compared to most people but it will be my first one ever so I'm taking it slow. I am really concerned about the mental toll gaining weight on purpose will take on me- even if I am hoping it is mostly muscle. I know some fat will come back with it, I am just not sure how I am going to feel about it. I hope to only put on about 4-5 lbs in Jan. which I think is a very reasonable amount of weight for a first time bulk. I don't really have a plan for the whole of 2019, right now it looks like Jan will be a bulk phase- which might get put on hold if I have a serious problem with the weight gain- and then in Feb either do another maintenance phase or a cut phase depending on how I am looking and if I am happy where I am.

I don't really have any New Year resolutions- I think I smashed my 2018 resolution out of the park- if anything I am hoping to make 2019 my "Strongest Year Ever"! I had some strength goals which I haven't made, but I am hoping to revisit them in the new year and work toward gaining more strength; mentally, physically, and emotionally. I am planning on continuing my health routine: eating clean (ish), lifting and cardio cross training, acupuncture
, getting regular check ups, seeing my therapist, etc. One goal I would really like to strive towards in 2019 is helping others who are also/have been struggling with the same things I have been- maybe starting a meet up and support group for women here in Charlotte. A safe place to talk about what works, what doesn't, healthy goal setting and motivational support....would anyone be interested in that?

That is all I have for now, as always, thanks for sticking with me!